Cuckolding
 
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CUCKOLD
Cuckolding the Wittol



The term
cuckold historically referred to a man with an adulterous wife, but has largely fallen out of use. The term now generally refers to a sexual fetish in which sexual gratification is gained from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by a woman with a man or a number of men besides her husband.


Etymology

Cuckold derives from the
cuckoo bird, alluding to the alleged habit of the female bird in changing its mate frequently and authentic practice of laying its eggs in other nests within its community. The association is common in medieval folklore, literature, and iconography. The original old English was "kukewold". It was borrowed from Old French "cuccault", which was made up of "cuccu" (old French for the cuckoo bird itself) plus the pejorative suffix – "ault", indicating the named person was being taken advantage of as by a cuckoo bird.

In medieval literature, the "
kukewold" was almost universally scorned instead of the adulterous wife, they were viewed as worthless due to their physical stature and somehow at fault for the adulterous act. The word was chosen in an attempt to connote scorn.

Usage first appears about 1250 in the satirical and polemical poem "The Owl and the Nightingale" (l. 1544). The term was clearly regarded as embarrassingly direct, as evident in John Lydgate's "Fall of Princes" (ca. 1440).



The Female Equivalent & The Cuckold versus the Wittol

The female equivalent
cuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562, adding a female suffix to the "cuck"; Wittol, which substitutes "wete" (meaning witting or knowing) for the first part of the word, first appears in 1520 and means a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's infidelity (in contrast to a cuckold, who by the original definition had been deceived by his wife).

So, in a sense, today's use of the term "cuckold" is somewhat inaccurate. Instead of calling a husband or man who receives sexual gratification from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by his wife or girlfriend with another man or a number of men being called a cuckold, such a man should instead be referred to as a Wittol. On the other hand, men with cheating wives who practice infidelity in secret are actually the real cuckolds. If you ask me, cuckold just sounds better.

The fact remains to be substantiated, but for the most part, most modern day cuckolds are fully aware of and reconciled to their dominant wife's infidelity. But who is suing over poetic license? Cuckold it is, so mote it be.


Modern western culture tends to shun infidelity as something abhorrent to discuss, so the very existence of this word appears awkward to many and hence its use in modern days is very limited save for its inherited context as a fetish or mutually agreed upon component of a Femdom D/s relationship.

Medieval literature was much more focused on the subject of infidelity and subsequently the term was one of many coined to bring a vocabulary to the culture of the time.
Cuckold, according to Urban Dictionary: "A sexually inadequate husband who accepts his wife's pussy is Her property and She alone decides which men She will fuck, even if it means denying her husband. Often, his only access to her pussy is to clean it of the ejaculate of males she chooses to fuck." In more subtle terms: "A submissive husband with a wife who takes on alpha-male lovers whereby the wife's sexual pleasures become the husband's vicarious sexual pleasures and experiences." For shits and giggles, listen to TISM's cool song, "Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me," which I submit to you as the international theme song for all knowing cuckolds who contently serve their Femdom wives. Kudos!
Cuckolding (cont.)

Metaphor and Symbolism


In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as "
wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This is an allusion to the mating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male. (See the Italian insult cornuto). In French, the term is porter des cornes, which is used by Molière to describe someone whose consort has been unfaithful. Molière's L'École des femmes (1662) is the story of a man who mocks cuckolds and becomes one at the end. In Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (c.1372-77), the Miller's Tale is a story that humorously examines the life of a cuckold. In Chinese usage, an altogether different allusion is used, when the cuckold (or wittol actually) is said to be "wearing the green hat," which derives from the sumptuary laws used in China from the 13th to the 18th century which required the males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).
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Cuckolding (cont.)

Cross-Cultural Usage of the Horn Metaphor

In many countries "
horns" are a metaphor for suffering the infidelity of a partner, not limited to husbands in modern usage. The gesture of the horned hand or cornuto can be used to insult the cuckold.

In Bulgarian, the word used is translated to literally say "one who carries horns", and the act of being unfaithful is termed to literally mean "to attach horns."

In Vietnamese,  a word meaning "get attached with a horn" is used.

In Czech and Slovak languages, the word "parohác" ("antlered one") is used, along with the phrase "nasadit parohy" ("nasadit parohy" in Slovak) — "to put antlers on somebody".

In Estonian the phrase is "sarvi tegema" ("to make antlers to somebody").

In Greek, the term used means "horned one".

In Hungarian, the term is "felszarvazni", meaning "to put horns (on somebody)".

The
Italian equivalent is cornuto, sharing the same double entendre with the English word cornuted, asserting both featuring horns and cuckolded. Its use is playful and lightheartedly derisive, with little or no particular efficacy in scorning someone during confrontations as it is lacking earnest damning credentials, potentially leading all parties to a chuckle and smothering the feud at its inception. A pervasive metaphor parodies the use of cornuto to great effect: il bue che dà del cornuto all'asino, meaning the ox labelling the donkey cornute, equivalent to pot calling the kettle black.

In Polish, the word "rogacz" ("horned one") is used, along with the phrase "przyprawiac rogi" ("to put horns on somebody").

In Portuguese, the terms corno ("horn") and cornudo or chifrudo ("horned") are used to spite or mock the cheated male partner. The expression corno manso ("tame horned") is used to indicate those men who, although cheated by their partners, come to accept it as a fact of their lives.

In Romanian, is încornorat, meaning "wearing horns".

In Russian, the word used is ("rogonosets"), literally "one who carries horns", and the act of being unfaithful is termed "nastavit' roga", lit. "to attach horns".

In Serbocroatian (Bosniak, Croatian, Montenegrin and Serbian the word "rogonja" has a similar meaning ("the one who carries horns" or "the horned one"), and the phrase used is "nabiti rogove" ("to put horns on somebody") or "natacinjanje rogova" (lit. "putting the horns on").

The
Spanish word cornudo is used in some areas to describe a male partner whose female partner is sexually unfaithful. The word cabrón which means "male goat" is also used to indicate those men who, although cheated by their partners, come to accept it as a fact of their lives. One who cheats on another is said to "Put the horns on the other" or "Poner los cuernos."

In Swedish the word hanrej has its roots in the old germanic language.

In Trinidad and Tobago and also Grenada, the term "horn" is used in conjunction with cuckolds, or anyone of either sex who has a cheating spouse. Other uses include "to horn" (to sleep with someone else's spouse), "horning" (the act of cheating on your spouse), "horner-man" (a man who is sleeping with someone else's spouse) and "horner-woman" (a woman who is sleeping with someone else's spouse), "to get horn", "to take (a) horn". It is usually used in a pejorative sense. Numerous calypsoes have been written about the topic; the most famous being "Horn Me Sandra" by the calypsonian known as Lord Kitchener.

This horn analogy also extends to
Turkey, where the cuckolded husband is termed boynuzlu, "horned one". But it also includes the females who are cheated on.

In China, green hats mean that the person is a cuckold. It is considered a cultural faux pas to give green hats to a Chinese person. American businesses should avoid giving green hats to Chinese clients.

In the Middle East the term refers mainly to a husband whose wife is unfaithful with his consent. The Russian term translated to mean 'Father of Horn' is also used in some countries in the Persian Gulf area. But the word Arabic word for cuckold is the is linked to the description of infidelity in Islamic Sharia.
Cuckolding (cont.)

Cuckoldry as a Fetish


A
cuckold fetishist is aware of his spouse's activity, most likely actively or indirectly encouraging it and on various levels, whether unabashedly admitted or veiled in a rouse of quiet desperation, derives sexual pleasure from it. Among fetishists, the pose of reluctance—the victimization of the cuckold—is a major element of the paraphilia's psychological potency during the seduction phase and its powerful and binding psychosomatic effect during its induction phase, the attraction and ceremonial build up to the sexual interaction between the cuckoldress and her lover or "bull." In my opinion the tease and denial initiated by the cuckoldress is spell-binding over her cuckolded husband. This tease and denial, i feel, reminds me of the coiled up energy of the kundalini that builds up over time to produce highly potent and virile mind-over-body reactions. Thus, the sexually ineffective cuck is wound up to serve as a sexually starved and eager to please cum-slut, a more intensely focused and agile pussy worshiper, or an adept in the arts of prolonged analingus.

In Femdom the cuckold is almost always a man; the term for a female cuckold is sometimes referred to as a cuckquean but is not as prevalent in popular culture as the man's version of the fetish. As a webmaster I have not come across any sites covering such a niche, nor am I interested in doing so. Perhaps I fall somewhere within the middle of that bell-shaped curve who find the idea of a woman cuckolding a man more appealing than a man practicing infidelity. I of course, very well intended to sleight the connotation in my manifest bias on behalf the discerning and empowered cuckoldress.

In the Femdom cuckolding fetish subculture, the female takes on the role of being sexually dominant, while the man takes on a submissive role. The act of being submissive, as the wise cuckoldress Vanessa Chaland so eloquently puts it, does not imply that the submissive be a doormat, but rather, submissive and compliant to the Woman's needs above his own, and to a exponentially increasing degree as Her desire and needs dictate. The man usually only becomes involved with the woman or her lover when she permits it — sometimes remaining altogether celibate. This prolonged or indefinite "forced chastity" is a sub-fetish often associated with cuckolding as well.  Visit my Femdom/sissy page to learn more on this topic.


The Cuckolds Sexuality

This fetish can be completely heterosexual in which the husband does not participate or only participates with his wife, as well as bi-sexual, in which the husband participates with everyone and/or makes contact with the other man's semen. This contact is usually acted out in a ritual akin to an Easter egg hunt only the cuckold is made to search for and discover hidden used condoms full of his wife's lover's semen. Or, he may be forced to eat/drink the semen from the condom as a means of erotic humiliation.

In the long run, all things are relative. The fetish specifics can range wildly from couple to couple, from loving treatment toward the cuckold to complete humiliation and utter debasement, denied orgasm, orgasm ruin, and life with his penis tightly locked in a chastity belt while his cuckoldress wife holds the only key.

In some rare cases, the husband may also seek other women outside the relationship, as in a swinging lifestyle. However, very commonly a requirement for the fetish is that the cuckold is somehow humiliated, whether this is acted out to be intentional or as some sort of by-product of the situation (e.g., the parties involved are somehow too sexually aroused to stop). Therefore cuckolding usually involves acting out a story [i.e., she is going out on a "date", or she has met a stranger and had a trist, or a one-night stand while on a girls night out, etc.]. Whatever the cause or ritual may be it usually involves embroiling the horny albeit sex-deprived cuckold in humiliating acts, events, or circumstances; it is not simply wife-swapping, swinging or sharing a sexual lover, there is almost always a psychological component of mind-fucking (psychological sadism), erotic humiliation and or degradation (i.e. being forced to consume semen, or eat "cream pie" after cuckold sex).

The wife who enjoys cuckolding her husband is frequently called a cuckoldress especially if the man is more submissive.



Theories in psychology

Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated. In Freudian analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the man's competition for procreation and the affection of females. In his book Masochism and the Self (read free!), psychologist Roy Baumeister advanced a Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (other forms of sexual masochism) among otherwise mentally healthy people was a form of escapism. In this theory, the sexually effete cuckold fetishists are relieving themselves of the stress of the burden of their social role (as husband and adequate sexual partner) and escaping into a simpler, less-expansive position (as voyeur, a feigned cuckold, accepting wittol, or bi-sexual quasi-accomplice).

According to these theories, the cuckold fetishist seeks pleasure both from the act of being humiliated and by giving pleasure to his lover(s) (wife and if bi-sexual the bull as well). But cuckolding can be summed psychologically as "distributing sexual humiliation to the cuckold". If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold", he usually convince his lover to participate in the fantasy for him, though other "cuckolds" may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. As such, the fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against his will.

Humiliation is "the feeling of being put down, made to feel less than one feels oneself to be." Psychologist Evelin Lindner calls humiliation "
the nuclear bomb of the emotions.", claiming it is an order of magnitude more powerful than any other, causing everything from interpersonal conflicts to international terrorism". According to psychoanalysis, any feeling can become sexualized if it is somehow favorably associated with sex, especially in childhood. Because humiliation is such a powerful emotion, if an individual sexualizes it, he can in turn obtain intense sexual feelings.



Theories in evolutionary psychology

In his somewhat controversial book
Sperm Wars (download here!), biologist Robin Baker speculated that the excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain, although it is important to note the word "cuckold" does not appear in the book "Sperm Wars". According to one of his theories, Baker believes that when a man thinks that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female in an effort to "compete" with the other man's sperm. Baker is also one of the few proponents of the theory of Killer Sperm, the idea that sperm compete not only for first access to the egg but by "attacking" other sperm. Although this idea appears frequently in cuckold fetish material, very few biologists share this view.

Baker and his proponents views conflict with the hypothesized foundations for sexual jealousy in evolutionary psychology, which is rooted in the idea that men, specifically, will react jealously to sexual infidelity on the parts of their mates. Infidelity is also the number one cause for divorce.
Cuckolding: According to a Lifestyle Cuckoldress

Vanessa Chaland

Vanessa Chaland's book Cuckold Letters: Evolution of a Cuckoldress is a cuckold voyeur's wet dream as he digests a steamy "collection of e-mails exchanged with a man who would become my cuckold husband. My interest in a twisted fantasy becomes a journey to becoming a dominant wife." Here are a few juicy excerpts from the book she has shared with us.

{
Excerpt}...I will be leaving for my date at 6pm. There is a party to attend, & I imagine he will be taking me somewhere to "do" me after. I can't predict what time I will be home, but if I have to guess, at the very latest 11-12. I won't end my date early to accommodate you. But since I don't know yet when I will arrive home, I would like you to still be awake as I may need some "servicing" after....

{
Excerpt}...I have enjoyed thoroughly knowing that my emails make you sweat, I love to say something that I know shocks you, just to try different things, different ways of making you sweat. I'm sure you understand....

{
Excerpt}...You don't have to think about what to say and do and feel, I've decided for you. M is going to do me with that perfect rod for so long, and you know I will be sore and red and swollen. Your mouth will feel so soft and nice on my me after a good lay by such a man. Also, when his potent sperm is spilled across me, you'll have little time to be sure that M's seed doesn't gain access to me. His creamy sperm mustn’t reach my pussy, for it would surely impregnate me. We can't have that..... You have to clean it up........

Visit Vanessa Chaland's Amazon page to review all of her books.
Visit Vanessa Chaland's Official Website!
Femdom-Cafe recommends: Cuckold Coach Spring Thomas Cuckold Sessions
Janet Mason Exposed

Online since April of 1998, Janet Mason's website, Janet-Exposed, was the first "hot wife" that I came across online and still hands down one of the sexiest cougars to own the scene. That must have been back in 2003 or so, at a time when I was beginning to formulate in my mind ideas for designing my own personal website dedicated to foot fetish and other fetishes. This pursuit culminated in a short term project called The Fetish Advocate, which I shut down to pursue other goals in 2009. Initially recommended to Her site by two of my favorite foot fetish directories, namely the illustrious Aragorn's Feetlinks and Wu's Feetlinks, I discovered that my love for beautiful Women's feet and my love of dominant and sexually empowered Women would serve as a gateway to serving their wildest fantasies.

Janet's professed love for fucking well hung Black studs naturally appealed to me for more than obvious reasons. Unfortunately, she has her personal likes and dislikes and guys with tattoos happen to be one of her personal turn-offs. Not that I would have had the balls to do such a thing on camera back then any way. I was far too shy then. However, Janet did inspire me and introduce me to the swinger and cuckolding lifestyle which I easily related as a potential sub-genre of Female-Led relationships. While Janet's husband may not be a cuckold, he is certainly a
wittol who is very devoted to embracing her needs and standing behind his empowered Woman or in sitting in the corner masturbating as he voyeurs her sexual exploits with her passive and aggressive well hung stud lovers.

Janet Mason has appeared in a variety of professional porn films, typically under the "MILF," "Hot Wife," "Cougar," and or "Teacher niche." In my book, Janet Mason is a Goddess. Period.
Spring Thomas

Did she just drop the N-bomb?  Yes she surely did. But before anyone get's their panties in a bunch allow me to offer the following apology on behalf of Spring Thomas' waxing and waning apologetic. Spring Thomas is not a racist. That is not what's going on here remotely and the men in the clip are not insulted because Spring Thomas is skillfully executing what is called erotic degradation. Judging by the size of the guys in this clip her Spring Thomas, her brazen use of the N-word is the equivalent to edge-play in S&M foreplay and sex play.

She is, in effect, role-playing the stereotype of a "dumb and ditzy blonde" who unabashedly puts her foot in her mouth as she grabs her ankles. Pause and imagine that for a hot sexond....I'll wait. This ditsy-ness, it is quasi-statistically proven, seems to turn most guys on. That in turn seems to somehow prompt some guys to fantasize about "
fucking her brains out" as if having a low IQ was somehow mandated as punishable by a firm smack on the ass, a long stroke and a stint at prolonged forced ball rubbing. Throughout the clip, the fact that She is intentionally goading the guys on with blatantly racist slurs and ill tuned logic is another clue that her entire demeanor is an elaborate form of psychological foreplay.

It seems to be working rather well as the first guy reacts to her annoyances saying, "
I'm gonna fuck your cervex up," and another guy warns, "you know we gon' fuck you for that?"  Like it or love it, this type of edgy, tongue-in-cheek erotic edge-play is something unique and intimate to the interracial/bi-racial couple and whether behind closed doors or within private circles such harmless banter and erotic degradation is a part of our healing old wounds and getting to know one another all over again as equals. When executed properly, this is precisely the point of edgy word play and the inherent eroticism derived from erotic degradation. 
Candy Monroe

In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This is an allusion to the mating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male. (See the Italian insult cornuto). In French, the term is porter des cornes, which is used by Molière to describe someone whose consort has been unfaithful. Molière's L'École des femmes (1662) is the story of a man who mocks cuckolds and becomes one at the end. In Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (c.1372-77), the Miller's Tale is a story that humorously examines the life of a cuckold. In Chinese usage, an altogether different allusion is used, when the cuckold (or wittol actually) is said to be "wearing the green hat," which derives from the sumptuary laws used in China from the 13th to the 18th century which required the males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).
AOCC

AOCC is an acronym for the Antipodean Order for Candaulism and Cuckoldry.

The Common Purpose of the Antipodean Order for Candaulism and Cuckoldry (AOCC) is to provide ways for its members to perform and observe acts of candaulism and cuckoldry, where submissive white females provide sexual pleasures to Black Men.

The Core Principle of the AOCC is to use all available, lawful means to promote and support its Common Purpose and enlighten people regarding the Antipodean Truths.

Candaulism is the act of a male person deriving voyeuristic pleasure by placing his female partner into sexual situations with other men.  Its name is derived from King Candaules of Lydia (735 BC), who plotted to expose his naked wife to their hiding male bodyguard, while she disrobed.

Cuckoldry is practiced and promoted, within the AOCC, in a non-lifestyle form and is not intended to alter or affect members’ lives, outside of the AOCC.  The AOCC promotes Anglo-cuckoldry for white males who wish to present a white female to Black Men and watch as she pleasures them sexually.

The practices of candaulism and cuckoldry, and society’s mainstream fascination with them, have always been featured themes in literature.  Classic examples include the English stories of Lady Godiva, “The Merry Wives of Windsor” (Shakespeare), and “The Canterbury Tales” (Chaucer).  Well-known examples of real-life persons who have sought and engaged in acts of candaulism and cuckoldry include: Sir Wm. Douglas Hamilton (1730-1803), King Edward VIII (1894-1972), and Alfred Kinsey (1894-1956).
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Vanessa Chaland also teaches couples and kink enthusiasts how to simply and affordably build their own Queening chairs and bondage furniture much like the designs shown in the video clip above. Visit her Fetish Furniture Factory website for step-by-step tutorials, details, and more.
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